Breakdown of the System

The remedies we are offered with promise of healing make us sicker. We search for answers only to find more questions. Our quest for safety and understanding lands us in a place of stigma and hostility. Our friendships turn sour from our inability to coincide, and their inability for patience, to bear with us. We are clothed like regular people but our insides are brimmed with monsters, demons, complications. We are perpetual children; we can’t seem to grow up, to grow out. We attempt the perplexity of normalcy, but we look in the mirror every day and see what others cannot perceive. We are mysteries, consumed by the unseen, overwhelmed with the terrors of our own minds. We don’t understand ourselves. Can anyone help us? Will anyone try? They try to forget us, sweep us under the rug, alienate us. And we alienate as well, because we are conditioned to think that is what we deserve. We hurt before we can be hurt. We lose our ability to trust. We are amazing people, brilliant in our own ways. We see the world in brighter colors, louder sounds,  more frightening patterns. We fight our battles with the wrong weapons. We feel defeated. We lose our ground, our everything.

There has to be a better way.

The Core of Destruction, and How to Rebuild Yourself

I am going to share a journal entry of mine from three years ago. I am proud to say that I have come a long way from the person I was when I wrote it. I want to share it because maybe someone reading can relate to it. Perhaps you are dealing with the same emotions, the same immobility to improve your circumstances and enjoy life. Handicaps and illnesses can do that to a person. So can damaging relationships, especially when abuse is involved, and other problematic situations. 

 

Circa 2009

 

I don't know how to deal with change.  With things lost.  Things gained.  Every bit of it leaves me feeling empty. And alone. And scared.  I start questioning decisions I've made, decisions I thought were good ones at the time, decisions that would bring changes for the better somehow.  But do things ever really get better?  Or do we just trade one misery for another all the days of our life? 

I alone have to live with the full quantity of what I've been and what I become.  And when I look in the mirror I see someone who is terrified to move, to speak, to taste what the world has to offer. Because I've seen how wrong things can turn out, and I've conditioned myself to trust only in the inevitable doom that is waiting to pounce around every corner.  Therapists have names for that kind of thinking, and they have their so-called cures for it as well.  But there's only so many layers of your being you can strip away until you're left with nothing at all. 

Perhaps I'm more frightened of what hides at my core than all the heavy cloaks of defects I'm clothed with could ever allude to. 

I conclude from this that I fear myself, and if that is so then how would I ever escape fear, for wherever I go...there I am. 

How can I ever trust my own decisions? Or trust the change that comes about from them as something safe and worthwhile?

 

~~~~~~~

I am relieved that I have endured many of the changes I was so afraid of when I originally wrote the journal entry. None of those changes were easy, and I still have some healing to accomplish, but I am a work in progress, as all of us are. I have learned that as long as I am working toward a goal, then I am living. It is when I become complacent with myself, or disgusted and resolved, that I start losing my passion once again, and for me, that is not acceptable. It shouldn't be for you, either.

Keep moving, dear friends. Keep trying. Keep surviving. Keep loving and hoping and dreaming. The core of destruction is losing your voice and accepting, even expecting, defeat.

Guest Blogger Carrie Wampler: The Emotional Impact of Miscarriage

When I was asked to do a guest post regarding miscarriage, I readily agreed and figured I could whip up a post within a day or two. Three posts and two weeks later, I realized it wasn’t going to be that easy. I write several posts a day on my blog, so I didn’t understand why I was having such trouble writing this post. I then realized that my typical blog posts are light hearted. I usually blog about a new kitchen recipe or offer a fun product giveaway. Discussing the loss of my baby, though, isn’t lighthearted or fun. To be honest, I really have to dig deep within myself for the strength to write such a post as it brings up emotions and feelings that some days I would rather not experience. But I have also learned that discussing the loss of my firstborn is essential for me to grieve and move forward with life. It also gives me the opportunity to encourage and relate to other women who feel totally isolated due to a miscarriage experience.

My miscarriage happened just 4 short months ago. We were one of the few couples who got pregnant within the first month of trying. We were ecstatic and naively told people we were expecting just days after the two lines turned pink. I can’t pinpoint why, but in my heart from the beginning I just knew something didn’t feel right. Several weeks later, my gut instinct proved true as physical symptoms and poor blood work results confirmed I was losing my first baby. 

I didn’t know what to expect emotionally. The physical symptoms ceased within a week, but my emotions were just ramping up. One minute I would be crying, the next I would be lashing out in anger. I was frustrated with my roller coaster of emotions. I was frustrated that my body rebelled on me and caused my baby to die. I was frustrated with myself- was there something I could have done to have stopped it all from happening? 

 Others would try to comfort me, most to no avail. I know their intentions were good, but to hear them say that “I was young” and that “more children would come” just angered me. I didn’t care about other children at that moment; I just wanted that baby back. That baby was the one my heart instantly connected to when I saw the double lines. Regardless, the best comfort to me was the friend that simply hugged me, brought me my favorite chocolate bar and simply said “I am so sorry”. No other words were needed, because there really aren’t any words that can heal the pain the loss of a baby creates.

 I named my baby. Some find that odd as I wasn’t even far enough along to know whether it was a boy or a girl- but I named it Mizpah. Mizpah means ‘watchtower’ and comes from the old testament bible verse that states “The Lord will watch between me and you while we are separate from one another”. I take great comfort in my baby’s name and its meaning, and the connection I feel with my baby will last forever.

You can read more from Carrie Wampler at croutonscorner.com

Taming the Dust Dragons

Nothing puts me in a better mood than housecleaning. Yes, I am fully aware that may sound a little off to a few, but given my OCD tendencies for order and anti-germs, I suppose it's only fitting. Yet, despite my enjoyment of the tasks, I have a lot of difficulty getting them done. I am very scatterbrained, for one thing. I forget what I am doing, lose track of time, and then freak out when I can't remember where I put the baby (hint: usually in the crib or playpen, but it scares me to get distracted from him by being so engrossed in chores). I also get very easily overwhelmed. My manias and mixed states bring about tasmanian devil style thought racing, and I think of so many things I want to do all at once that I scarcely know where to begin. I end up exhausted before I even get started, or I bounce from chore to chore without really finishing any of them. Depression brings its own set of complications with major fatigue, apathy, and consequent self-hatred for getting so behind on housework. Cleaning is actually one of the very few things that will help raise my spirits during a depression, but it's just so hard to get moving! I've learned that if I force myself (and trust me, it's like being the mule and the farmer at the same time), then once I get up and moving it makes me feel better. Plus, there's nothing more uplifting than looking over a clean house and feeling that fresh sense of accomplishment.

I have tried several different approaches to cleaning. FlyLady (created by Marla Cilley) was one of the earlier methods I tried, and while her acronyms and such were cute at first, they grew to be quite annoying after, say, five minutes. Don't get me wrong; she does have a lot of valuable concepts going on, but overall her personality and methods just weren't compatible with my expectations. 

The New Messies Manual by Sandra Felton was a closer fit for me. Her book really helped me see why I procrastinate on housework, so that I could better resolve the issues and get to work! It had a lot of great tips for organizing and making things simpler and more logical in the long run. I have lost my copy of the book, unfortunately. No doubt, it was a victim of poor housekeeping, despite the great knowledge I learned from the book. Hey, no plan is foolproof! 


More recently, I stumbled upon a site that claimed I could easily clean my whole house in 20 minutes a day for 30 days. Ludicrous, you say! Well, see for yourself: Thirty Day Schedule.

 Let me break in for just a moment and explain what I am working with here. I moved in with my fiance two years ago. Before that time, the home had only housed menfolk. His father (who passed away a couple of years ago) originally owned the place, and before I came along the occupants consisted of my fiance and his younger brother. Bachelor pad does not even begin to describe it, folks. I love these guys to death, but it was obvious from the get-go that housework was not high on their priority list (was it even on their list??) I set to work almost immediately after moving in. I got a few things organized. I tackled some of the dust bunnies. I quickly gave up on the stained carpet (did they use their floors for mud bogging?) I was making slow but certain progress, and I was quite proud of myself. Then, pregnancy occurred. And no ordinary pregnancy. This was THE pregnancy from hell. Nausea and vomiting 24/7. Literally 24/7. By the time 2nd trimester rolled around I was able to keep food down, but then I had an even lovelier ailment. My hip/pelvic bones had become misaligned (medical term for this condition is symphysis pubis dysfunction, but I just called it agonizing pain). This required a lot of bed rest and physical therapy. I went on to give birth to a healthy baby boy, and all nine months of discomfort melted away the moment I held him in my arms for the first time. We settled in at home and began the notorious stage of sleep deprivation. I also suffered from some postpartum depression. After I began to feel better and my son had fallen into a halfway decent schedule, I really took in what surrounded me: a really messy house. The dust bunnies had metamorphosed into dust dragons. The organizational improvements I had been so proud of months ago had been undone and forgotten. The idea of trying to get this place presentable again, all while caring for a baby, exhausted me just to think about. But I hate a messy house more than anything. I need cleanliness and order for my mental health. It's just the way I'm programmed. I knew I had to do something, and fast! I came up with my own way of doing things, which was kind of a spin-off of every cleaning book or site I had ever read, adapted for my own special circumstances. Here I will share with you some of my "wisdom" on the subject:

Rule #1  It's okay to have a messy house. Yeah, really! This was the hardest thing for me to accept. I like everything to be perfect, especially if company is coming. This perfectionism often led me to spend great attention to detail on certain things (like the inside of the oven, or the crevices under the bathroom cabinet that no one sees) and totally miss the boat on the regular stuff like sweeping and dusting and blah blah blah. I was trying to do too much, you see. I would get started on ridiculously mundane projects and run out of steam before I got to the the more essential chores. I had to face the fact that I just can't do it all. My children need me more than the mop does. Visitors come to see me, not inspect my domestic performance (and if they do come to inspect, then they shouldn't be allowed to visit anymore!) So I let go. I...let...go. And it wasn't a one time thing. No, I have to let go every day, at every occasion, no matter who might see the house in varying stages of clean or chaos. I just can't bog myself down worrying about what people think of my home anymore. We don't live in an enormous house with a live-in housekeeper. We live in a mobile home that is a little too small for our family, and no amount of scrubbing is going to unleash the fact that it is an aging, small home. And that's perfectly okay. I love my home because it houses my favorite people, and my duty is to nurture them. So before I set out to deep clean our home I ask myself what really needs to be done, and what can wait, which leads me to the next rule...

Rule #2 Health is the foremost concern. If you have ever watched the show Hoarders: Buried Alive you know what an unhealthy home looks like. If there's moldy food in the kitchen, animal feces on the floor, or so much clutter it's dangerous to walk, then your house is not healthy for you or your family. If your child or someone else in the home is asthmatic, then you know how important it is to keep dust and pet dander to a minimum. If someone in the home has limited mobility or trouble walking, then obviously great care should be put into making sure all walking areas are clear of clutter. It is these simple things that we should adjust our efforts to. Think about yourself and the other occupants of your home. What really matters the most, as far as health is concerned? Maybe it's the dust, or the clutter, or something else. Always keep those as your main focus. Realize what can wait and what cannot. The following is my personally adapted monthly schedule. I don't always follow it day by day or word for word, but it is more or less a blueprint for keeping me on the right track and avoiding the slump of getting too behind on any particular chore. If you checked out the site I shared earlier in this post, you will find mine looks eerily similar, and that's because it is! But I adjusted a few things to meet my own needs, and you will certainly need to do the same if you choose to try this type of schedule.

 

The 31 Day Schedule

 

Day 1: Surface clean living room and kitchen (pick up stray items, dust, sweep, vacuum)

Day 2: Clean bathrooms (toilets, showers, floors, walls, mirrors)

Day 3: Surface clean master bedroom (put away items, clothes, dust)

Day 4: Surface clean kids’ bedroom (put away items, clothes, dust)

Day 5: Surface clean living room and kitchen

Day 6: Clean bathrooms

Day 7: Clean all interior windows and doors

Day 8: Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house

Day 9: Surface clean bedrooms

Day 10: Deep clean living room (mirrors, baseboards, dust artwork)

Day 11: Clean bathrooms

Day 12: Clean out closets (hang up clothes, mittens, jackets, hats)

Day 13: Sweep front and back porch, pick up trash in yard

Day 14: Deep clean bedrooms (organize drawers, check under bed, tidy closet, dust artwork, fans, lights,

vacuum/mop)

Day 15: Surface clean living room and kitchen

Day 16: Deep clean bathrooms (clean inside drawers, inside of trash cans, tops of mirrors, tile, mop)

Day 17: Clean/sanitize all door knobs, phones, entertainment equipment (remote controls), switch plates, and other things that are repeatedly touched.

Day 18: Clean out the refrigerator, take stock of food, organize pantry

Day 19: Clean out car

Day 20: Surface clean living room and kitchen

Day 21: Surface clean bathrooms

Day 22: Surface clean bedrooms

Day 23: Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house

Day 24: Clean out bathroom cabinets

Day 25: Surface clean living room and kitchen

Day 26: Deep clean kitchen (scrub appliances, wash trash cans, base boards, wipe down and straighten cabinets)

Day 27: Surface clean bathrooms

Day 28: Surfaces clean bedrooms

Day 29: Clean one item you've been meaning to get to and haven't (deep clean your stove, wipe down all light fixtures, tackle a particularly unruly area)

Day 30: Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house

Day 31: Clean out files (paper and online)

In addition to halfway following the daily schedule, I have a cheat method, which is to use "clutter baskets" to store any misplaced items throughout the week that I just don't have time to put away. At the end of the week, whatever has been placed in the clutter basket must find its home-this is mandatory! Otherwise your clutter basket will become a clutter mountain that takes over half the room. If you have kids, then make it a game. Divide up the stuff in the basket and see who puts their pile up the fastest. You can purchase a decorative container for your clutter basket, or you can do what I do and just use a laundry basket and store it out of sight until it's time to put stuff in it at the end of the day. It's a simple and effortless move for those days when you just don't feel like sorting the stuff out that your family has dragged out and left throughout the day. And if someone is looking for something-a specially loved toy, cell phone, dirty socks-just tell them to check the clutter basket first. It's usually in there, and that's a proven fact.


Rule #3 No (wo)man is an island. You don't have to do it all on your own. Okay, maybe you do. As stereotypical as it may sound, most men aren't fond of household chores and, in fact, don't really even see the point in them. But see if there are certain things they don't mind helping out with. Maybe it's taking out the trash, or loading the dishwasher, or cooking, or a number of other things. My honey helps me out a lot just by washing a load or two of clothes for me when I start getting behind. I know they are going to sit in the basket until I fold and hang them, but the fact that he washed and dried them is terrific! And that's another thing: don't nag your man about stuff like this. If they help, don't complain about the way they did it. Just be glad they did it! Otherwise, you may never get them to help you out again. Likewise, don't nitpick your children about how they didn't do something exactly the way you wanted them to. As long as they got the task done in a functional-for-their-age way, then let it slide. You have less resistance to chores that way. 


To sum it up, let go of your prior conceptions about perfection, and learn to love and enjoy your home. Respect the place that shelters you, and it will feel more like a haven, dust bunnies and all. 


-Amy Purdy

Pardon the Delay

I apologize for not updating the site in several days. I am recovering from mental and physical fatigue and will be adding more content within the next few days. Thank you for your patience.

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship."  ~Louisa May Alcott

The Human Cycle

Sometimes I wonder if the true art of living is not a matter of finding what you want out of life but rather an act of plucking out all the things you don't want, and accepting what's left.

I wonder why we feel like we have to live for anyone other than ourselves, why we choose paths that reflect what's expected of us, branded on us, while disregarding our true passions.

I wonder how many of us die never knowing who we are, or who we could have been, only leaving the fragments of what we thought we "should" be. 

I think to truly love others you have to first learn to see yourself in them and to treat yourself with the grace you deserve and let that grace linger throughout those around you.  If you judge yourself you will judge others. And I think that's why there's so much hate in the world.  Because we hate ourselves and we take it out on everyone around us. 

Furthermore, we have a tendency to judge the things we don't understand.  Because it confuses us we think the only solution is to undermine it, criticize it, destroy it, or simply ignore it. 

It's such a terrible act of degression among all the "accomplishments" of our day.

Guest Blogger Angel Jarrard: Fear of Life

I have never been in the military, so when I was told I had PTSD I thought my doctor was hitting his drug supplies! Only soldiers shot at in a war get that, right? The only time I have heard the term it was used to describe veterans of the past wars at a nursing home I worked at. I had to have it broken down for me. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can affect anyone who has had a very traumatic experience. I've had two! My son passed away at 3 years old and I was in a relationship for 5 years with a guy who wasn't just a wife beater but also a sociopath.

 I have a hard time leaving my house alone. I panic when men are around me other than my brother and my husband. The grocery store is too big and doesn't have enough exits. I used to not be able to leave my house at all. My body would be ripped apart by panic attacks because I had to check my own mail box. I'm much better now; I can go outside alone for longer than 10 minutes before I have to retreat back into the safety of my house. It's horrible when you don't sleep because you go through constant rounds of checking windows, door locks, windows, door locks, windows, doors, windows, doors, never ending all night. And it doesn't end when the sun comes up. I'm constantly checking the doors to make sure they are locked. If I leave my house I am always afraid I will run into the individual who is still stalking me. I never feel safe from him. Even law enforcement has told me there isn't much that can be done. I can understand how soldiers would jump at loud booms, because when a male voice is raised around me in anger or unexpectedly, I pee my self! Do you have any idea what it's like to be a grown woman who pees her pants?

 I didn't think it had any effects on my kids. I mean, many women have man issues, right? I was wrong. I am terrified when my kids are out of my sight. I start to worry about who is around them; what if they are hurt and I'm not there to help them? What if one of them is sick and I don't know? What if one of them falls and gets hurt and they can't come get me? I can't let them out of my sight without having a panic attack. My husband makes me let them go to their friends' houses and go to sleepovers. I'm terrified of losing another one. I don't think I could survive that. My son passed away in my arms and when I gave him CPR it didn't work. I worry that if another one needed it I wouldn't be able to do it.

 I can't take the anxiety medicine because it makes my symptoms worse! I don't like that disconnected feeling it gives me and I worry that it's going to make me sleep too deeply to hear a cry for help. I try to use situational therapy to learn to handle the panic in situations that for most is normal everyday life. But sometimes unexpected things happen and I panic. I can be in the waiting room and the only available seat is far from my only exit. Or while I am ordering a man enters and gets between me and the door. I love drive-thrus! Panic attacks are debilitating; you can't catch your breath, your vision narrows down to a pin point and you can't focus, and your heart beats so fast that your chest feels like it will explode! Your mind is your worst enemy during a panic attack. Every irrational thought that you could have starts to run through your head.

Where You Are

I have grown to realize that when I feel the lowest I tend to also consider myself to be at my weakest. Yet, it takes strength to admit that I am weak; it takes force and courage to continue to try when I feel too broken to do so. Therefore, it is not truly weakness, but simply an alternate realm of strength, much like a generator kicks in when the electricity goes out. When everything is running properly again, the electricity will go back to doing the same job it was doing before. Until then, it's okay to rely on the reserve. That's what it's there for.

With mental illness, there are always going to be power outages within us from time to time. It is not weakness to rely on someone else to carry the load, or to admit you need time to recuperate and take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't feel guilty for needing more rest, or time alone, or for someone to stay with you when you are feeling unsafe. There is no shame in illness. One of my favorite quotes comes from Theodore Roosevelt. He said "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."  I come back to this quote quite frequently because it reminds me that I may not always have the same level of ability, or the best of circumstances, or even the right frame of mind to function as well as I would like at all times. But no matter where I am, I am capable of something. I can keep trying. I can keep surviving until I feel better, until brighter days break through (and they always do eventually), and then I can work at full capacity again. And you can too.

-Amy Purdy

Accepting Limitations

"If you accept your limitations you go beyond them." ~Brendan Francis



How often do you take on too much and then find yourself swamped and overwhelmed and on the verge of mental catastrophe? If you are anything like me, the answer is frequently! I blame mania for a lot of it. I feel like I can do anything and everything during those times. I begin several projects, make promises to people about things I will do for them, and make plan upon plan upon plan, fully elaborated in notebooks full of written out schedules and ideas. I pay attention to every detail, to the point that I don't really accomplish any real work. My mind is racing too fast to settle down and focus on completion of anything. Everything begins to spin faster and faster. More ideas! More promises! More illusions of what I am truly capable of. Suddenly, it's a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, and I'd give anything just to make it all go quiet and leave me be. And then I crash. And when I crash post mania, I crash hard.

The people closest to me are always telling me, "Amy, you've got to slow down. Prioritize. Focus on what is really important, and let the rest of it go." I don't think they realize how difficult that is for me. For one thing, I don't really know how to prioritize. It all seems important to me! But then I have to take a deep breath and think about what my job really is. I am a homemaker and a mother. Keeping my young son physically and emotionally taken care of is my most important job. Making sure everyone is fed is my job. Keeping the house off Hoarders: Buried Alive is my job. Writing is my hobby, and I have two books under way that mean a lot to me. Likewise, this website is very important to me, because I want to help others who struggle like I do. But I get too intense about it at times. I let it take precedence over everything else. I have all these ideas on how to orchestrate it better, to make it bigger, to make it absolutely awesome. But if I let my writing projects get in the way of my home life, it becomes a problem. As much as I want to take my writing to a more serious and job worthy level, it has to remain a hobby for now. That is the limitation I personally have to accept for now. To take on any more, especially right now with my moods and anxiety being very unstable, is to risk a full blown nervous breakdown. I have been there before, and I don't want to go there again.

The key to accepting your limitations is to find out what they are! You can't draw lines if you can't see where to draw them. To understand your limitations, think of  what normally holds you back. What do you consider your weaknesses to be? For me, I am not good at multitasking. I have to take one step at a time or I get overly stressed. Your limitation may be similar, in which case it would not be wise for you to plan a baby shower for your best friend and have a big assignment due around the same time at work.

One of the hardest lessons is learning to say no. People will ask you for favors, your boss will ask you to work overtime, your kids will want to sign up for every sport and extracurricular activity under the sun. Decide what you can feasibly say no to, and carve out time to do the things you have to. Always ask yourself the following:

• Do I really have to do this?
• What are the consequences if I don't do this task, or put it off to a later date? 
• How can I pace myself with the tasks I need to complete before a certain deadline in a way that I avoid becoming stressed? 
• What is the reward for completing this task on time? 

The answers to these questions will vary depending on the situation. Some things will be easier to give up than others. At no point are you a weaker person for accepting your limitations. You are only one person, and let's face it, Bipolar Disorder makes things a little harder for us than for the average person. Our concentration and memory are affected, and so is our level of energy and ability to cope with stress. These limitations do not make us less of a person, and we can still accomplish great things in life. We just have to find a happy medium between productivity and peace of mind.

-Amy Purdy

Guest Blogger Liam Tarry: "How Do I Know I'm Depressed at Work?"

Do you count down the days to the weekend? Do you get that feeling of dread every Sunday evening? Do you sit in your chair, watching the clock, willing 5:30 to come so you can escape the drudgery of the office and get home? If so, chances are you're unhappy in your job. But how can you tell if you are just unhappy, or if you're depressed? In this article, a provider of employee satisfaction surveys at ETS will look at some symptoms and come up with a few coping strategies.

#1 - Weigh Up Your Situation

The first step in working out whether or not you are unhappy in your job or if your job is making you depressed is to weigh up your whole situation. Can your low mood be attributed solely to your job, or are there other life factors at play? If you leave the office only to be confronted by yet more problems, your job is probably only part of the problem. If you have life circumstances which are getting you down, only you can manage them. It's important to remember that depression can be treated - it is a mental illness which affects many of us in our lives and there is help out there.

#2 - Are You Holding Down Your Job?

Depression is a medical condition which often requires medication, or at least some form of counseling. But if you are managing to hold down your job and turn up, day in, and day out, your level of depression is probably less severe. If you can't work at all, chances are you are more severely depressed. Mild or moderate depression is almost always about suppressed anger. If you are managing to get to work every day and fulfill your job requirements, you're probably just unhappy in your job - so it's time to find a new one.

#3 - Does Your Job Fit Your Personality?

Believe it or not, many people don't actually enjoy their jobs. Not because they don't get satisfaction from them, but because they don't fit their personality type. Think about it - if you are a people person who gains satisfaction from helping others, then sitting behind a desk all day writing reports and answering the phone won't fit your personality type. This could be making you unhappy - but the fact you're doing it says you're not depressed. On the other hand, if you are in a job where you are constantly stressed out and you physically can't deal with this stress, then chances are you are depressed.

#4 - Understand Your Mind

One thing you need to understand that is more important than anything else is that all depression is in your mind. Unhappiness at work can be caused by a horrible boss, horrible colleagues or undue stress of deadlines. Depression however is not caused by anything external - it is all in the mind. You might like to think that depression is caused by a horrible boss but it is actually caused by your inability to deal with that horrible boss. Happiness is in the mind. And we control our mind. Make sure that you start working with your mind. Understand that work is not permanent, and that it will pass, and you'll be on your way towards recovery.

#5 - Find a Coping Strategy that Works

If you are depressed at work, you need to find a coping strategy which works for you. Perhaps it's by changing your diet, drinking more water, getting a bit of fresh air, taking regular breaks, ditching the coffee or just learning to smile more. If you're managing to even hold down your job, you may be depressed but not to the extent where you can't even bring yourself to get out of bed in the morning. Try and do something you enjoy and get your mind off the daily 9-5 and your symptoms will start to improve in time.

So there you have it, five simple ways of working out whether or not you are unhappy at work, or if your job is causing your depression. If you are unhappy, it could be a case of just finding a new job in order to feel better. If you are depressed, then getting a new job won't cure it. Seek some medical advice and let your employer know - chances are if you are open and honest they'll be more sympathetic to your situation. It could take time, but depression can be beaten. Good luck.


-Liam Tarry