Nothing puts me in a better mood than housecleaning. Yes, I am fully aware that may sound a little off to a few, but given my OCD tendencies for order and anti-germs, I suppose it's only fitting. Yet, despite my enjoyment of the tasks, I have a lot of difficulty getting them done. I am very scatterbrained, for one thing. I forget what I am doing, lose track of time, and then freak out when I can't remember where I put the baby (hint: usually in the crib or playpen, but it scares me to get distracted from him by being so engrossed in chores). I also get very easily overwhelmed. My manias and mixed states bring about tasmanian devil style thought racing, and I think of so many things I want to do all at once that I scarcely know where to begin. I end up exhausted before I even get started, or I bounce from chore to chore without really finishing any of them. Depression brings its own set of complications with major fatigue, apathy, and consequent self-hatred for getting so behind on housework. Cleaning is actually one of the very few things that will help raise my spirits during a depression, but it's just so hard to get moving! I've learned that if I force myself (and trust me, it's like being the mule and the farmer at the same time), then once I get up and moving it makes me feel better. Plus, there's nothing more uplifting than looking over a clean house and feeling that fresh sense of accomplishment.
I have tried several different approaches to cleaning. FlyLady (created by Marla Cilley) was one of the earlier methods I tried, and while her acronyms and such were cute at first, they grew to be quite annoying after, say, five minutes. Don't get me wrong; she does have a lot of valuable concepts going on, but overall her personality and methods just weren't compatible with my expectations.
The New Messies Manual by Sandra Felton was a closer fit for me. Her book really helped me see why I procrastinate on housework, so that I could better resolve the issues and get to work! It had a lot of great tips for organizing and making things simpler and more logical in the long run. I have lost my copy of the book, unfortunately. No doubt, it was a victim of poor housekeeping, despite the great knowledge I learned from the book. Hey, no plan is foolproof!
More recently, I stumbled upon a site that claimed I could easily clean my whole house in 20 minutes a day for 30 days. Ludicrous, you say! Well, see for yourself: Thirty Day Schedule.
Let me break in for just a moment and explain what I am working with here. I moved in with my fiance two years ago. Before that time, the home had only housed menfolk. His father (who passed away a couple of years ago) originally owned the place, and before I came along the occupants consisted of my fiance and his younger brother. Bachelor pad does not even begin to describe it, folks. I love these guys to death, but it was obvious from the get-go that housework was not high on their priority list (was it even on their list??) I set to work almost immediately after moving in. I got a few things organized. I tackled some of the dust bunnies. I quickly gave up on the stained carpet (did they use their floors for mud bogging?) I was making slow but certain progress, and I was quite proud of myself. Then, pregnancy occurred. And no ordinary pregnancy. This was THE pregnancy from hell. Nausea and vomiting 24/7. Literally 24/7. By the time 2nd trimester rolled around I was able to keep food down, but then I had an even lovelier ailment. My hip/pelvic bones had become misaligned (medical term for this condition is symphysis pubis dysfunction, but I just called it agonizing pain). This required a lot of bed rest and physical therapy. I went on to give birth to a healthy baby boy, and all nine months of discomfort melted away the moment I held him in my arms for the first time. We settled in at home and began the notorious stage of sleep deprivation. I also suffered from some postpartum depression. After I began to feel better and my son had fallen into a halfway decent schedule, I really took in what surrounded me: a really messy house. The dust bunnies had metamorphosed into dust dragons. The organizational improvements I had been so proud of months ago had been undone and forgotten. The idea of trying to get this place presentable again, all while caring for a baby, exhausted me just to think about. But I hate a messy house more than anything. I need cleanliness and order for my mental health. It's just the way I'm programmed. I knew I had to do something, and fast! I came up with my own way of doing things, which was kind of a spin-off of every cleaning book or site I had ever read, adapted for my own special circumstances. Here I will share with you some of my "wisdom" on the subject:
Rule #1 It's okay to have a messy house. Yeah, really! This was the hardest thing for me to accept. I like everything to be perfect, especially if company is coming. This perfectionism often led me to spend great attention to detail on certain things (like the inside of the oven, or the crevices under the bathroom cabinet that no one sees) and totally miss the boat on the regular stuff like sweeping and dusting and blah blah blah. I was trying to do too much, you see. I would get started on ridiculously mundane projects and run out of steam before I got to the the more essential chores. I had to face the fact that I just can't do it all. My children need me more than the mop does. Visitors come to see me, not inspect my domestic performance (and if they do come to inspect, then they shouldn't be allowed to visit anymore!) So I let go. I...let...go. And it wasn't a one time thing. No, I have to let go every day, at every occasion, no matter who might see the house in varying stages of clean or chaos. I just can't bog myself down worrying about what people think of my home anymore. We don't live in an enormous house with a live-in housekeeper. We live in a mobile home that is a little too small for our family, and no amount of scrubbing is going to unleash the fact that it is an aging, small home. And that's perfectly okay. I love my home because it houses my favorite people, and my duty is to nurture them. So before I set out to deep clean our home I ask myself what really needs to be done, and what can wait, which leads me to the next rule...
Rule #2 Health is the foremost concern. If you have ever watched the show Hoarders: Buried Alive you know what an unhealthy home looks like. If there's moldy food in the kitchen, animal feces on the floor, or so much clutter it's dangerous to walk, then your house is not healthy for you or your family. If your child or someone else in the home is asthmatic, then you know how important it is to keep dust and pet dander to a minimum. If someone in the home has limited mobility or trouble walking, then obviously great care should be put into making sure all walking areas are clear of clutter. It is these simple things that we should adjust our efforts to. Think about yourself and the other occupants of your home. What really matters the most, as far as health is concerned? Maybe it's the dust, or the clutter, or something else. Always keep those as your main focus. Realize what can wait and what cannot. The following is my personally adapted monthly schedule. I don't always follow it day by day or word for word, but it is more or less a blueprint for keeping me on the right track and avoiding the slump of getting too behind on any particular chore. If you checked out the site I shared earlier in this post, you will find mine looks eerily similar, and that's because it is! But I adjusted a few things to meet my own needs, and you will certainly need to do the same if you choose to try this type of schedule.
More recently, I stumbled upon a site that claimed I could easily clean my whole house in 20 minutes a day for 30 days. Ludicrous, you say! Well, see for yourself: Thirty Day Schedule.
Let me break in for just a moment and explain what I am working with here. I moved in with my fiance two years ago. Before that time, the home had only housed menfolk. His father (who passed away a couple of years ago) originally owned the place, and before I came along the occupants consisted of my fiance and his younger brother. Bachelor pad does not even begin to describe it, folks. I love these guys to death, but it was obvious from the get-go that housework was not high on their priority list (was it even on their list??) I set to work almost immediately after moving in. I got a few things organized. I tackled some of the dust bunnies. I quickly gave up on the stained carpet (did they use their floors for mud bogging?) I was making slow but certain progress, and I was quite proud of myself. Then, pregnancy occurred. And no ordinary pregnancy. This was THE pregnancy from hell. Nausea and vomiting 24/7. Literally 24/7. By the time 2nd trimester rolled around I was able to keep food down, but then I had an even lovelier ailment. My hip/pelvic bones had become misaligned (medical term for this condition is symphysis pubis dysfunction, but I just called it agonizing pain). This required a lot of bed rest and physical therapy. I went on to give birth to a healthy baby boy, and all nine months of discomfort melted away the moment I held him in my arms for the first time. We settled in at home and began the notorious stage of sleep deprivation. I also suffered from some postpartum depression. After I began to feel better and my son had fallen into a halfway decent schedule, I really took in what surrounded me: a really messy house. The dust bunnies had metamorphosed into dust dragons. The organizational improvements I had been so proud of months ago had been undone and forgotten. The idea of trying to get this place presentable again, all while caring for a baby, exhausted me just to think about. But I hate a messy house more than anything. I need cleanliness and order for my mental health. It's just the way I'm programmed. I knew I had to do something, and fast! I came up with my own way of doing things, which was kind of a spin-off of every cleaning book or site I had ever read, adapted for my own special circumstances. Here I will share with you some of my "wisdom" on the subject:
Rule #1 It's okay to have a messy house. Yeah, really! This was the hardest thing for me to accept. I like everything to be perfect, especially if company is coming. This perfectionism often led me to spend great attention to detail on certain things (like the inside of the oven, or the crevices under the bathroom cabinet that no one sees) and totally miss the boat on the regular stuff like sweeping and dusting and blah blah blah. I was trying to do too much, you see. I would get started on ridiculously mundane projects and run out of steam before I got to the the more essential chores. I had to face the fact that I just can't do it all. My children need me more than the mop does. Visitors come to see me, not inspect my domestic performance (and if they do come to inspect, then they shouldn't be allowed to visit anymore!) So I let go. I...let...go. And it wasn't a one time thing. No, I have to let go every day, at every occasion, no matter who might see the house in varying stages of clean or chaos. I just can't bog myself down worrying about what people think of my home anymore. We don't live in an enormous house with a live-in housekeeper. We live in a mobile home that is a little too small for our family, and no amount of scrubbing is going to unleash the fact that it is an aging, small home. And that's perfectly okay. I love my home because it houses my favorite people, and my duty is to nurture them. So before I set out to deep clean our home I ask myself what really needs to be done, and what can wait, which leads me to the next rule...
Rule #2 Health is the foremost concern. If you have ever watched the show Hoarders: Buried Alive you know what an unhealthy home looks like. If there's moldy food in the kitchen, animal feces on the floor, or so much clutter it's dangerous to walk, then your house is not healthy for you or your family. If your child or someone else in the home is asthmatic, then you know how important it is to keep dust and pet dander to a minimum. If someone in the home has limited mobility or trouble walking, then obviously great care should be put into making sure all walking areas are clear of clutter. It is these simple things that we should adjust our efforts to. Think about yourself and the other occupants of your home. What really matters the most, as far as health is concerned? Maybe it's the dust, or the clutter, or something else. Always keep those as your main focus. Realize what can wait and what cannot. The following is my personally adapted monthly schedule. I don't always follow it day by day or word for word, but it is more or less a blueprint for keeping me on the right track and avoiding the slump of getting too behind on any particular chore. If you checked out the site I shared earlier in this post, you will find mine looks eerily similar, and that's because it is! But I adjusted a few things to meet my own needs, and you will certainly need to do the same if you choose to try this type of schedule.
The 31 Day Schedule
Day 1: Surface clean living room and kitchen (pick
up stray items, dust, sweep, vacuum)
Day 2: Clean bathrooms (toilets, showers, floors,
walls, mirrors)
Day 3: Surface clean master bedroom (put away items,
clothes, dust)
Day 4: Surface clean kids’ bedroom (put away items,
clothes, dust)
Day 5: Surface clean living room and kitchen
Day 6: Clean bathrooms
Day 7: Clean all interior windows and doors
Day 8: Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house
Day 9: Surface clean bedrooms
Day 10: Deep clean living room (mirrors, baseboards,
dust artwork)
Day 11: Clean bathrooms
Day 12: Clean out closets (hang up clothes, mittens,
jackets, hats)
Day 13: Sweep front and back porch, pick up trash in yard
Day 14: Deep clean bedrooms (organize drawers, check
under bed, tidy closet, dust artwork, fans, lights,
vacuum/mop)
Day 15: Surface clean living room and kitchen
Day 16: Deep clean bathrooms (clean inside drawers,
inside of trash cans, tops of mirrors, tile, mop)
Day 17: Clean/sanitize all door knobs, phones,
entertainment equipment (remote controls), switch plates, and other things that
are repeatedly touched.
Day 18: Clean out the refrigerator, take stock of
food, organize pantry
Day 19: Clean out car
Day 20: Surface clean living room and kitchen
Day 21: Surface clean bathrooms
Day 22: Surface clean bedrooms
Day 23: Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house
Day 24: Clean out bathroom cabinets
Day 25: Surface clean living room and kitchen
Day 26: Deep clean kitchen (scrub appliances, wash
trash cans, base boards, wipe down and straighten cabinets)
Day 27: Surface clean bathrooms
Day 28: Surfaces clean bedrooms
Day 29: Clean one item you've been meaning to get to
and haven't (deep clean your stove, wipe down all light fixtures, tackle a
particularly unruly area)
Day 30: Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house
Day 31: Clean out files (paper
and online)
In addition to halfway following the daily schedule, I have a cheat method, which is to use "clutter baskets" to store any misplaced items throughout the week that I just don't have time to put away. At the end of the week, whatever has been placed in the clutter basket must find its home-this is mandatory! Otherwise your clutter basket will become a clutter mountain that takes over half the room. If you have kids, then make it a game. Divide up the stuff in the basket and see who puts their pile up the fastest. You can purchase a decorative container for your clutter basket, or you can do what I do and just use a laundry basket and store it out of sight until it's time to put stuff in it at the end of the day. It's a simple and effortless move for those days when you just don't feel like sorting the stuff out that your family has dragged out and left throughout the day. And if someone is looking for something-a specially loved toy, cell phone, dirty socks-just tell them to check the clutter basket first. It's usually in there, and that's a proven fact.
Rule #3 No (wo)man is an island. You don't have to do it all on your own. Okay, maybe you do. As stereotypical as it may sound, most men aren't fond of household chores and, in fact, don't really even see the point in them. But see if there are certain things they don't mind helping out with. Maybe it's taking out the trash, or loading the dishwasher, or cooking, or a number of other things. My honey helps me out a lot just by washing a load or two of clothes for me when I start getting behind. I know they are going to sit in the basket until I fold and hang them, but the fact that he washed and dried them is terrific! And that's another thing: don't nag your man about stuff like this. If they help, don't complain about the way they did it. Just be glad they did it! Otherwise, you may never get them to help you out again. Likewise, don't nitpick your children about how they didn't do something exactly the way you wanted them to. As long as they got the task done in a functional-for-their-age way, then let it slide. You have less resistance to chores that way.
To sum it up, let go of your prior conceptions about perfection, and learn to love and enjoy your home. Respect the place that shelters you, and it will feel more like a haven, dust bunnies and all.
-Amy Purdy
In addition to halfway following the daily schedule, I have a cheat method, which is to use "clutter baskets" to store any misplaced items throughout the week that I just don't have time to put away. At the end of the week, whatever has been placed in the clutter basket must find its home-this is mandatory! Otherwise your clutter basket will become a clutter mountain that takes over half the room. If you have kids, then make it a game. Divide up the stuff in the basket and see who puts their pile up the fastest. You can purchase a decorative container for your clutter basket, or you can do what I do and just use a laundry basket and store it out of sight until it's time to put stuff in it at the end of the day. It's a simple and effortless move for those days when you just don't feel like sorting the stuff out that your family has dragged out and left throughout the day. And if someone is looking for something-a specially loved toy, cell phone, dirty socks-just tell them to check the clutter basket first. It's usually in there, and that's a proven fact.
Rule #3 No (wo)man is an island. You don't have to do it all on your own. Okay, maybe you do. As stereotypical as it may sound, most men aren't fond of household chores and, in fact, don't really even see the point in them. But see if there are certain things they don't mind helping out with. Maybe it's taking out the trash, or loading the dishwasher, or cooking, or a number of other things. My honey helps me out a lot just by washing a load or two of clothes for me when I start getting behind. I know they are going to sit in the basket until I fold and hang them, but the fact that he washed and dried them is terrific! And that's another thing: don't nag your man about stuff like this. If they help, don't complain about the way they did it. Just be glad they did it! Otherwise, you may never get them to help you out again. Likewise, don't nitpick your children about how they didn't do something exactly the way you wanted them to. As long as they got the task done in a functional-for-their-age way, then let it slide. You have less resistance to chores that way.
To sum it up, let go of your prior conceptions about perfection, and learn to love and enjoy your home. Respect the place that shelters you, and it will feel more like a haven, dust bunnies and all.
-Amy Purdy
5 comments:
What an article I can relate with! I tend to get really overwhelmed when it comes to housework as well. I either obsessively clean or just avoid it completely. Oh how I wish I lived a more balanced life! I do really like the 31 day idea and how it breaks down the process of cleaning so it isn't quite as overwhelming.
The 31 day schedule helps me a lot. I have a bad tendency to get overwhelmed, because I look at EVERYTHING that needs to be done and suddenly don't know where to begin. Going to the list helps me see "yeah, okay, this is what I should do today". Once that is done, if I feel like conquering something else then great, but if not I can rest in the fact that I did SOMETHING.
Oh how I wished a 31 day schedule worked for me! 8-9 children in a home daily of someone with extreme O.C.D. that schedule is what I do daily! Everything everyday! I think that is why I get so stressed out and my anxiety blows the roof off during the summer! Kids are home and the more I clean the faster they mess! Everyone always says "oh you have all that help" but it's not really I have to have things done a certain way and I have to do it myself or I know it won't be done right.
I can definitely understand how that would make things very difficult! I cringe a lot when my daughters don't do something a certain way. I tend to reload the dishwasher because I don't think their way is as functional (plus I basically wash everything before I put it in whereas they just put the dishes in as is). They don't hang up clothes the way I like, or fold the towels the way I like. They miss spots when they sweep or vacuum. As I said in the article, though, I have to work toward letting those things go, and letting the chores be a learning experience for the kids without nitpicking everything they do. It is so very hard, especially with OCD tendencies. It's not easy to just "let go" when your mind is telling you it HAS to be a certain way.
I don't think I could just let it go. With all these kids there is very little I have control over in my life. My personal schedule is worked around school, doctor's appointments, and my husband's work schedule. 3 of the kids have ADHD, so sometimes their behavior is hard to predict and control. The one thing I can control is how towels are folded or how a floor is mopped! I sometimes have trouble getting my own anxiety under control and keeping things in my house just like I want them helps control that anxiety. I worry that I put to much on my children for doing house work, my mom would wake us up in the middle of the night during a manic state and make us scrub everything (walls, floors, ceilings, EVERYTHING), I don't want them spending their childhood cleaning. I have a bad fear of germs, and it has to be done right to keep those away, and with a stalker who likes to use child protective services to harass me I feel like I have to keep my house immaculate at all times in case they come along. The CPS in our county is very corrupt and they look for any reason to keep a case open if someone has them called too many times on them. They don't look at the fact that some people abuse them to annoy and harass others. They make you feel like you have done something wrong when they get called, especially if you have more than one child. They have told me that "you must be hiding something or they wouldn't just keep calling" even after they see there is no reason other than harassment. So these things keep my OCD to the point of major melt down! We won't even discuss gatherings like birthday parties or holidays!
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