Numb

 To be honest, I was feeling really suicidal last night. I didn't plan to do anything, but I kept thinking about it. Today I'm just numb. I don't really care about anything. I assume this is just effects of stopping the Prozac. I'm hoping the Cymbalta kicks in soon. 

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I took a nap this evening, just a short one. I had planned to sleep through supper, just pretend I didn't need to cook and the family didn't need to eat.  But I woke up at 5:30 p.m. and the guilt set in, so I put a frozen Italian meal in the oven and served it with garlic bread. I wasn't hungry but I ate a little anyway. I might as well since I cooked. If you want to call heating up a frozen meal cooking. It involved turning on the oven at least. 

Now I'm counting down to bedtime. I wish I could go back to bed, but I have a toddler so that's out of the question. I wish I had a babysitter I could call, but I don't trust anyone with my kids and I don't have any money to pay them anyway. It's almost 8 p.m. now, so bedtime isn't too far. Why does it feel so far away?