“You can't make yourself feel positive, but you can choose how to act, and if you choose right, it builds your confidence.”
I challenge everyone reading this to look down deep into your soul and figure out why you do the things you do. Why do you procrastinate? Why do you pick fights with your spouse? Why do you distance yourself from others? Why do you never finish anything you start? This exercise isn't about fixing anything-not just yet, anyway. It's about getting to the root of the problem. That's the only hope of every truly changing what you don't like about yourself.
And then what? After you have picked apart your inner skeletons, ask yourself what you would like to change. If you find that you don't want to change anything, then so be it. But I think 99.99% of us would like to change something. Ask yourself what would happen if you did the total opposite of the thing you dislike. If you binge eat, what would happen if you didn't binge eat? What would you do instead? Would the consequences be good or bad? What if, instead of feeling ashamed of yourself for something, you openly admitted what it is you are ashamed of? How do you think people would perceive you? How is it different from how you feel about yourself now?
Change is scary. It's mind boggling. It takes grueling amounts of effort, and even despite all those efforts, it is so easy to resort to old ways again. There are numerous theories about how long it takes to make or break a habit: some say 21 days, some say 30, some say more...perhaps it is different for everyone. But truly, it takes a lifetime of daily choices-to do or not to do-and that can sound way too daunting for most of us! But that hard work is good for us. It gives us something to focus on, to work toward. Trying and failing is still trying, and the only real failure is quitting. Keep trying and you will eventually meet your goal, in some form or fashion. The prize at the end may not be exactly what you hoped for, but oftentimes it's even better!
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