What's in a Name?

Stigma is a nasty thing.  It is a personal enemy that I try to fight with every weapon I have.  I'm not exactly a stigma ninja, but I do try to inform people in my daily "real" life via conversation (when I actually pry out of my social phobia shell and talk to anyone) as well as throughout the cyber world via writing and sharing valuable information about mental illness.  Yep, stigma is a nasty bug that must be smushed.  I don't believe insects, spiders, or any other critter should be smushed, but stigma?  Stigma-Be-Gone!  Spray, spray!  Smush, smush!

Stigma is attached to a lot of words.  The tricky part is, certain words bother some people, while they don't bother others.  For instance, the word "crazy."  Personally, I don't have a big issue with that word.  I use it a good bit to describe things, e.g. "wow, the traffic is crazy today!"  "that's a crazy-looking sweater."  "My toddler is acting crazy, he needs a nap."  I even refer to myself as "crazy" sometimes, but I don't really mean anything derogatory by it.  It's a word I usually use in lieu of "silly" or "wild."  I don't go around calling people crazy because they have a mental illness.  That would just be, well, crazy!

But some people have a real issue with the word, so I try to respect that.  Yet, I still use the word around people I know are comfortable with it.  Does that make me a hypocrite?  I wonder...

For reference, you can check out Merriam-Webster's definitions of the term here.

I think each person's feelings about certain words are based on their own experiences.  Personally, I have a big pet peeve about "being bipolar."  Lots of people are comfortable saying "I'm bipolar" but I feel the need to phrase it as "I have bipolar disorder."  I believe this stems from times in my past when certain individuals accused me of "acting bipolar."  This happened long before I was diagnosed, and it is actually the reason I started asking myself if perhaps I did have a problem. I eventually sought help, hence getting properly diagnosed as, indeed, bipolar.  I spent a few years suffering an identity crisis over this term, being led to believe that everything I did, everything I thought and everything I felt, was because I was bipolar.  Gradually, I learned more about the illness, and about myself, and I realized that this was truly not the case.  While bipolar disorder affects a lot of aspects of my life and personality, it's not a description of me as a whole.  I am a person all on my own who just happens to have a case of bipolar on her hands.  I wrote a blog back in January about this concept (you can find it here) and I didn't get a very positive response. I shared it on Reddit, and oh my, what a mistake!  Nearly everyone who commented made sure to tell me how ridiculous I was being, how being PC is not all that it's cracked up to be, and basically made me feel like a loser for posting such a dumb piece of crap.  I surprised myself by actually leaving the post intact instead of deleting it.  After all, some people did actually "like" it, though they were few and far between.  Like it or not, that's just the way I feel about it.  I don't think you're wrong if you disagree.  We just see things differently.

Words like "psycho" are, to me, a big faux pas when describing someone with mental illness.  Perhaps if you have murdered people, or carried out some elaborately evil plan to torment others, then I would consider calling you psycho.  But the majority of us aren't evil; even if we have violent thoughts or tendencies, the media upstages the connection between mental illness and violence wayyyy more than what is accurate.

But maybe some people are okay with being called psycho.  Or deranged.  Or nuts.  What's in a name, really?  Maybe it's more about the tone, the context, the intention.  The English language is vast, and in many cases the same word can have more than one definition.  Crazy, eh?

I can't say that the answer is to be less sensitive about these words.  I also can't say the answer is to walk on eggshells and avoid any word that could possibly even remotely be considered offensive.  Because, no matter how careful you are, you may very well, sooner or later, step on a shell.  Crunch, crunch!

The whole case against Paula Deen: I know we've all heard enough about that, but it got me to thinking about something.  Every once in a while, someone will come under attack for using a racial slur.  The "N" word is, of course, a major no-no, though it's apparently considered acceptable slang to call yourself that if you are of African-American descent.  That doesn't mean every African-American is okay with the term, regardless of what race is speaking it.  But with some, it's okay, as long as it's not another race using the word.  The definition provided by Merriam-Webster even starts out as "usually offensive."  There are other races and other terms that are considered very, very disrespectful.  Obviously, derogatory terms toward those of another sexuality are subject to major scrutiny as well.  Oddly enough, I can't think of a single time when anyone has made the headlines or been in trouble with the law for a "psychiatric slur."  Correct me if I am wrong, but I just can't think of an instance of this.

American literature proves that there was a time when the "N" word was more acceptable, as well as certain words for homosexuals.  I wonder if our language will ever evolve to consider words like "psycho" and "crazy" just as offensive?  The mentally ill are not a race, or a different sexuality, but we are indeed different in terms of how we are viewed by society. Maybe one day there will be laws that protect our status as well.  Whether that is necessary or not varies according to opinion.  If you ask me, I just want to be accepted for who I am, and not treated differently because I have been in a mental hospital before.  I'm not a plague.  You can't catch mental illness from me (unless I gave birth to you).  Making fun of me or judging me won't make you look saner than me.  I think that, just like race or sexuality (or any other minority difference, for that matter), there is a fear of being overcome by something not like yourself.  People don't want to be mentally ill.  They don't want to be homosexual if they are heterosexual.  They don't want to be a different race; or at least most people don't, I assume.  I think differences make us stronger as a nation, but only when those differences are accepted and not considered a flaw.  The sad truth is, mental illness is considered a weakness among the general population.  We think differently, and it's not always a positive attribute. When certain symptoms overtake us, we can be difficult to manage, even frightening. We are misunderstood by society, and even by ourselves. There is a lot more information out there now than there used to be.  We have made giant steps in the right direction, but there is still a lot of unknown territory.  Some religions still view mental illness as the consequence of a sinful lifestyle, or even as demon possession.  At least most of them have progressed from thinking the same thing about being left-handed, being female or being black, so maybe in another hundred years we will be in the clear as well ;)

As long as the world still turns, there will always be ignorance about something.  Ignorance is stigma's right hand man, and he's a tough one to beat!  The ignorant are ignorant for a reason: they don't want to learn that they are wrong, so they keep their minds closed and their mouths open.  What a  fussy bunch!  But there are a few things you can do to fight stigma:

• Avoid self-stigma.  How can we be respected by others if we don't respect ourselves? Blaming yourself for your illness or putting yourself down because of it is a sure way to make yourself miserable and delay the overall acceptance of mental illness in society.  
• Talk about it!  I understand the risks of disclosing a mental illness to your boss, or even to your friends.  You don't want to be fired (or at the very least looked down upon, perhaps demoted from consideration for that promotion you were hoping for), and you don't want to lose your friends.  But look at it from every angle.  Some bosses and co-workers may be understanding.  And one of your friends may be suffering in silence, craving the acceptance that you also desire.  Obviously, think it through before you disclose to anyone that may view you negatively, but consider that stigma thrives on this fear.  The less open we are, the less likely we are to be understood. 
• Educate yourself, then educate others.  When I first received my diagnosis, I read everything I could get my hands on about my illness.  And I still don't know everything!  So I continue to learn all I can each day.  I try to keep up with the latest scientific findings, and I love reading memoirs by those who have experienced these illnesses because it helps me understand more about myself.  Never close the book; keep learning!  And spread that knowledge in every way you can.  Some will never listen or gain adequate understanding, but at least you'll know you did your part.
• Correct any misinformation you hear or read about.  This one I have trouble with, since I have severe social phobia when it comes to talking to others, but if you are more outgoing than I, then do us all a favor:  if you overhear someone saying something demeaning or untrue about a person who is mentally ill, kindly let them know. Know your facts, and be polite!  If you are making the argument that all mentally ill people are not violent while raising your voice and slamming your fist down on a table, you are probably not winning your argument.  
• Take care of yourself.  Ensuring that you are at optimal physical and mental health is the best way to show the world that you are a valuable asset to society despite having a mental disorder.  We each have something to offer those around us; we all have special talents and skills that can have a positive impact on the world; if not in the workplace, then perhaps in the community or at home. Discover your inner passions. Set goals and work toward them. Get adequate sleep and eat healthy, vitamin-rich foods.  Exercise.  Take medications, if appropriate for your condition, and participate in therapeutic activities.  Ask for the help that you need. And when you fall down, pick yourself up and carry on.  

  In closing, I would like to say that we are not defined by names.  Whether you are called "stupid," "slutty," or "crazy,"  you have the power to direct your own self-esteem and actions, and go far beyond what anyone's expectations or preconceived notions are.  That is your right, and your responsibility.  No word can take that away from you.