Following your heart is equivalent to following feelings, and not only are feelings unreliable, but they change from moment to moment. It is ultimately wiser to follow your head. Reasoning. Facts. Evidence. History. Only as a last resort add the input of feelings into the equation. Gut instincts are sometimes right, sometimes wrong. Facts are undeniable.
Differentiating between facts and emotions is not always a simple task, however. It's not like they are color-coded for us.
This is especially true for sufferers of Bipolar Disorder. So many times our moods dictate our decisions. I know mine certainly have! It is only after the period of intensity has passed that our emotions subside and we are stuck with whatever decisions we made in that moment. Often those decisions cannot be reversed, so we must live with the consequences of what seemed like a good idea at the time. It is difficult to take a step back and think clearly when we are upset, angry, manic, or depressed. Those feelings consume us and taint reality. Sometimes it helps to have a trusted friend or family member who knows about your condition to help pull in the reins when you go to one extreme or another. This is a risky set up, since you are bound to hate that person from time to time for trying to tell you what to do and what not to do when you are feeling quite capable of making reasonable decisions yourself. It takes finesse and patience in that individual, and it takes a great deal of trust and listening power in you. I'm fortunate to have a good support system in my life. My fiance is the biggest help. His voice telling me "breathe, just breathe" may resonate an annoying tune during the moment of angst, but it truly is what I need to hear, as it helps me center on what is necessary (hint:breathing) and push aside the emotions that have my panties all in a wad (wow, I hate that phrase). It is essential for my sake to have him available to walk me through decisions. That is not to say that I am always incapable of making sane, educated choices on my own, but I know from past experiences that I do not have the most adequate thinking power while I am depressed, and I tend to fly off the handle or make terribly irrational decisions when manic.
Do you struggle with making good decisions when you are manic or depressed? What tips do you have for others?
6 comments:
My depression can get pretty deep, but I thank God that it hasn't been too bad in, oh, at least a month or so...LOL. Sometimes I make poor decisions that, in turn, influence the severity of my depression, or maybe even trigger it outright. Similarly, I am more inclined to make poor decisions when in a depressed state, so that, then, a viscous, sort of downward spiral results, and the real culprit (depression or bad decision making) cannot always be readily identified. More likely than not, they probably work in conjunction with one another, influencing and worsening the other. I haven't visited a mental health professional in quite some time. Some ten years ago, I was diagnosed as having Generalized Anxiety Disorder and mild depression, though I'm sure things have changed since then. Moreover, that was but one man's educated opinion, at best. As I've aged, I've realized how mental illness generally can incorporate elements of various conditions, and, as such, a diagnosis per se is not so clear cut. It's interesting how it's all interrelated. Sorry about that last little tangent there...just following my train of thought. Back to the original point, though: yes, I feel like my ability to make good decisions is hindered when I am depressed, especially as it relates to my lack of wanting to make certain decisions. It would be an understatement to say that my motivation is hindered when my depression is deep. Like you said, it's good to have a support system for times like these, despite the fact that one's mental condition might make it so that others' efforts seem inconsequential or counterproductive.
It's me, Sammy, by the way. :-)
A combination of depression and anxiety not only creates a resistance to critical thinking needed for decision making, but the two seem to snowball their effects on one another. An example of this is when I was dealing with financial aid in regards to my education. I was going through a fairly severe bout of depression at the time and the very thought of having to talk to anyone on the phone or articulate an email or fill out more paperwork exhausted me to no end. The absence of doing these things, however, made me very anxious. I worried about not getting the right stuff turned in on time, and I was a bundle of nerves. The increased anxiety made my depression worse, and so on and so on, until I was paralyzed to do anything. It was at that point that I decided, in the midst of this anxious-depressive hell, that I was in no condition to even consider continuing my education if I couldn't even deal with the financial aid aspect of it, and decided to abandon the pursuit of a college career. I have wondered since then, if perhaps I had been hypomanic at the time, I would have not only completed the necessary checklists for college entry, but would be excelling as a confident college student as we speak. Otherwise, if I had been in a full blown mania, would I have yelled at someone in charge of financial aid, or not been able to fill out the paperwork due to concentration issues, and would I still not be in a position of successful school attendance?
You have an excellent point regarding the interrelation between different mental illnesses. Having a multiple diagnosis myself, I can vouch for the fact that the symptoms of one ailment ends up bleeding into the symptoms of another on a nearly constant basis. I have had a couple of therapists tell me that they don't really put a big emphasis on labels as far as whether the diagnosis is "bipolar" or "borderline personality disorder", for instance, since the treatment for each is essentially the same, though no case is really the same as symptoms vary from one individual to another. A diagnosis is merely a sketch of what may be going on inside one's mind; it does not tell the whole story. Furthermore, one doctor may find a completely different diagnosis in the same individual. Psychiatry is far from being an exact science, just as we are far from being cookie cutter emblems of illness.
Lord, Amy, I've been there. The avoidant part of my personality conflicts with my own reasoning when it comes to getting things done. I then wonder what I might be able to pursue, enjoy, or accomplish were it not for my procrastination and avoidance of tasks I might find socially or otherwise taxing. Then I arrive at the same self loathsome ways of thinking, precisely because of all the above, and depression can (and usually does) ensue. And this lack of self-esteem and confidence extends, as you can imagine, into every facet of my life, be it professional, romantic, or what have you. It's a cruel cycle, indeed.
Sammy
Indeed. I suffer from Bipolar, anxiety, and ptsd. The best thing for me to do before making any decisions is to...sorry I can't finish that. I keep changing my mind about what to write. at the moment i've been isolating and not seeing counsel. I have to get back to me by tomorrow..Back to counseling and drug and alcohol classes..Prayer and meditation help me get out of bed, take shower and cook and clean..
That is great that you are getting back into counseling and classes; it is a step toward becoming the best you that you can be. I have recently returned to therapy as well. It helps me a great deal because it enables me to better focus on my goals for wellness, and the support of my therapist is strengthening to me as well.
I have been meaning to try meditation. I have had several tell me how beneficial it is to their mental health, especially with stress and anxiety. I know prayer is also very helpful, as it lifts the burden off of our shoulders and places it in a wiser being's hands. Faith is a healing substance, but it is hard to hold on to at times.
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