Labor Day Weekend

TGIF! I hope everyone has a nice holiday weekend. I don't really have any plans and that suits me just fine. I'm feeling kind of run down so naps and reading sound festive enough for me.

I can't think to write anything else lol I have some news but I can't share it just yet. So I will just be mysterious for now.

TGIF

This was a rough week in the land of homeschooling. Jacen had zero attention span and was a little uncooperative at times. Today he answered all my questions in a made up language. At least he gets points for creativity. I'm pretty exhausted but maybe I can rest up this weekend and start next week fresh and recharged.

One good thing that happened this week is Jacen had his first Occupational Therapy session and he really enjoyed it. They have a fun gym there with a trampoline and ball pit and a lot of other neat things. They are going to work with him on his motor skills and sensory issues. I'm glad he likes it there. Since they provide speech therapy too we are in the process of transferring him from the place we have been taking him since this new place is a lot closer to home. His therapist from the old place is moving to North Carolina so he was going to have to meet with someone new anyway. He has improved a lot since first going there so I hope he does as well or better with his new therapist.

Good Book!

I just finished Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate. I really liked it! It's fiction but it's based on the Tennessee Children's Home Society orphanage scandal of the 1930s. Some of it was pretty sad, but I seem drawn to stories of tragedy for some reason. At least this one had a somewhat happy ending.

When I checked this one out at the library last week the librarian invited me to their book club meeting. Apparently this is the book they are reading now. But as much as I love to read, I have never had the slightest inclination to sit around with people and talk about what I read. Just not my thing. Of course, I have never tried it. I might like it more than I think. But people...talking...I don't really have a desire to test it.

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff

I spent the first half of the day fighting back tears for no reason at all, and now I feel super happy, but not in a manic way, so that's good. My new doctor made some small adjustments to my meds and I will see her back in a month. Hopefully I will even out soon. In the meantime I have been able to function better as far as teaching Jacen and keeping up with laundry and stuff like that. Any improvement is a step in the right direction.

Still One of My Favorite Quotes

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." -Theodore Roosevelt

Sleep Deprived and Emotional

I haven't slept well this week and it's catching up with me. I felt great mentally all week but today I'm an emotional wreck. I'm just going to take it easy today, read if I can concentrate. I'm finishing up Duma Key by Stephen King. So far I really like it. I have another stack of books waiting on me when I finish it. Reading is my drug, my escape from reality. When I can concentrate, at least.

The night before last my son did something very odd. It was the middle of the night and he started running from the closet to the bed, back and forth. His eyes were open but he didn't respond to any of my questions about what he was doing. Then he broke down crying and went back to bed. He has suffered from night terrors since he was a toddler but usually that just consists of him crying and yelling in his sleep. This is the first time I've seen him do the running thing. I'll be sure to bring it up with his doctor. It was kind of creepy.

Useless Appointment

My appointment to discuss med change was today, but the doctor didn't know what to do so she set me up with another doctor for next week. Fortunately I have been feeling a lot better the past few days. It's just annoying to see a doctor and they do nothing. Oh well. Better luck next week, I hope.

Changes

My stone passed at some point in the last two weeks. I guess I was too distracted by my toothache to notice. I wasn't very diligent using the strainer. I have another one in my left kidney but hopefully it won't cause me trouble any time soon. There's still a lot of blood in my urine so they want me back for a check up in 3 months. So my stone is gone, my tooth is gone, and hopefully my mental health will get straightened out soon. It's so nice to not be in awful physical pain.

I'm feeling a little depressed at the moment. I am having trouble focusing in order to teach my son. Homeschooling is something we have enjoyed and my husband and I felt it was the best fit for our family, but I'm just feeling really insecure about my abilities to continue to teach. The public school has already resumed classes for this year, but I'm not officially starting 2nd grade until September. Maybe by then I will be in a better place mentally.

Happy Weekend

I have enjoyed a nice quiet weekend. It was much needed. My mental health has improved a bit and apparently those antibiotics are doing wonders for my tooth because the pain is not nearly so awful now.

A few days ago I bought my first anti wrinkle cream. I am starting to have some fine lines on the sides of my forehead. I don't really know how successful wrinkle creams are and I only got a relatively cheap one made by Neutrogena. I like the feel of it and it has sunscreen so maybe it will at least prevent sun damage. I have been fortunate in life to always look years younger than I actually am so these recent signs of aging are a little daunting. But I won't allow myself to become too vain about it ;)

I Don't Know

Whether things are coming together or falling apart, it's how you look at it that counts, I guess. Down here in the valley I can only see the broken and the breaking. I may see things differently by tomorrow. Right now, in this moment, I feel like I have already lost everyone that I love. Maybe that's just the paranoia talking, the fear of abandonment. But who can really say what is truth and what is a lie? How can we judge anything past what we feel in our gut? Just because I have a mental illness, does that mean my heart never tells me the truth?  I am so mixed up inside and I don't know how I can get fixed so I think correctly. What is correctly? I wish I knew.