A Little Progress

I have accomplished a decent amount of cleaning today, though I am only halfway through my to-do list. I still have some hours left. My nerves are shot. My son has been super needy today. I set him to task on cleaning his room but it did not keep him from yelling "Mommy!" every half second for this or that. I sadly admit I lost my temper with him a couple of times. It's not like I never spend time with him. He gets plenty of attention, so I don't know why he thought he needed to have me by his side all day. I am probably PMSing and my anxiety is on full force. I get super focused when I am cleaning and any interruption really irritates me. Soooo it has been a challenging day. I can't believe it isn't even 4 p.m. yet. It feels much later. It feels good to sit down and rest my back for a moment. I have supper in the crockpot but somehow I have ended up with a massive amount of dirty dishes. I'll have to add that to my to-do list. Back to work.

"To produce insanity, what first be damaged, and how?"  -Margaret Atwood

A Good Friday

Another great day, but this evening I feel wiped out. It's only 7:30 p.m. but I really want to go to bed. I am going to force myself to have a major cleaning day tomorrow. From sun up to sun down. Pray for me. I may get lost under a pile somewhere.

My mom is so ready to get out of rehab that she threatened to walk out today. The physical therapist thinks that she is ready to leave but she has to wait until she meets with her heart doctor Monday for the final okay. I am hoping for her sake that she does get to leave. Tuesday is her birthday, and then Thursday, of course, is Thanksgiving. I know she wants to be home for those occasions. I am somewhat worried about my capabilities to take care of her. She complains a lot and is super critical of me at times. But it is what it is. As long as she doesn't push me to the point of rage, I think we'll do fine.

I need to figure out what I am going to give Mom for her birthday. I'm drawing a blank. I am not good at picking out gifts. What does one need/want after a medical setback like this? She is so hard to buy for even under normal circumstances.

WIN!

I just made two important phone calls regarding my mom's insurance. Take that, social anxiety!

Electric Thoughts

After such a terrific day, I find that I am having rapid thoughts and anxiety. I'm also irritable. I need to just go to bed, but I don't think I can shut down my mind. I have so many ideas coming at me at once. I have a lot to do before Thanksgiving. I have a lot to do on my book. I have a lot to do with homeschooling. I have a lot to do, a lot to do, a lot to do! Good grief! I guess I'll take some Benadryl and see if that chills me out. Then tomorrow, maybe I can make a rational plan of some sort. Main priority is making it through Thanksgiving. I have two days to cook for, on actual Thanksgiving day and the Sunday after. The Sunday after meal is here, God help me. I cannot begin to describe what a holy hell mess this house is in. I'm too embarrassed to post a picture. I need to find a starting point on that and dig in. I did get my son to put some toys away today, so that is good. That's a start. I don't know why I find it so hard to focus on anything long enough to get it done. I need to go to bed. We are going to see my mom at rehab tomorrow. Those visits always wear me out for some reason. And make me hungry. Weird. Ugh, I need to go to bed. Shutting up now.

Good News and a Recipe

This has been a good mental health day. I've felt happy and stable. Douglas is off tonight and he stayed up later than usual today because we had to go pick up my medicine at 3:30 p.m. I really enjoyed the extra time with him.

What's more, all day the house has smelled so good with the aroma of my crockpot full of minestrone. Typically minestrone has pasta in it, but I found a recipe years ago in a Taste of Home magazine that uses barley and it has been my go-to recipe ever since. It's healthy and warm, perfect for chilly Autumn nights.

SLOW & EASY MINESTRONE 

INGREDIENTS

• 1 can (28 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 3 celery ribs, cut into 1/2-inch slices
• 2 medium carrots, cut into 1/2-inch slices
• 2 small zucchini, halved and cut into 3/4-inch slices
• 2 cups vegetable broth
• 1 cup shredded cabbage
• 1/4 pound sliced fresh mushrooms
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/3 cup quick-cooking barley
• 1 can (15 ounces) cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
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Directions

• In a 4- or 5-qt. slow cooker, combine the first 11 ingredients. Cover and cook on low for 7-9 hours.
• Cook barley according to package directions; stir into soup. Add beans; heat through. Yield: 6 servings (2-1/4 quarts).

 

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TMI

Gross moment of the day: I was trying to swallow one of my morning pills and it got stuck in my throat. It made me throw up and now I can't think of swallowing any of them without getting sick. I'll get them down somehow, it's just going to take me a minute to get the vision of throwing up out of my head. The culprit was Lamictal. Those little buddies are shaped so weirdly and so dry. This is not the first time this has happened. What an icky start to the day.

Meds Work Better When You Take Them

I just realized (as I was about to take my nightly meds) that due to getting up late this morning I forgot to take ALL of my morning meds. No wonder I am feeling so off! I've literally spent the last two hours listening to grunge music and feeling like I am about to plunge down a very dark hole. Not to mention I'm very foggy-headed like I just got woke up in the middle of the night. But no worries. Just my absent-minded self at works again. Maybe I'll be alright tomorrow.

Good Morning

It felt nice to sleep in this morning. I still woke up kind of early, but I just lay there snuggling and talking with my son. But now I'm ready to start the day. I need to do some housework. Correction: I need to do A LOT of housework, but I will just focus on some of the most important stuff for today.

Better Day

After such a terribly anxious yesterday, I am happy that I have felt better today. We've had a nice little time, going to see Mom, taking my son to speech therapy, and eating at the Olive Garden. I took a nap when we got home (that seems to be the new trend these days) and now I need to feed the dogs and do school lessons with my son. Then it will be time to make supper, an easy Southwestern salad. I may try to exercise this evening. I know I need to. That will be my evening goal. Well, off to feed those dogs before they start eating ME!