Marriage

I am so in love with my husband. We have been together for several years so we refer to each other as husband and wife, but we are finally going to legally get married on the 19th. It is going to be a very simple ceremony and very casual. I will probably just wear shorts and a t-shirt. We were going to just get married at the courthouse but apparently they don't offer that option around here anymore. Luckily I have a friend who is going to marry us at a nearby park. It is only going to take like five minutes to do but some of my family wants to be there anyway. Hopefully my daughters will get to be there. I'm excited!

As we are going to truly tie the knot I want to renew my dedication as far as being a good spouse. Over the years I have let my appearance go because I felt so secure that he would love me no matter what. I do know he loves me but I realized recently that I shouldn't let that be an excuse to just not care how I look. True, I have never been what could be considered pretty. Even my mom has told me that my whole life. But I could put more effort forth. I am going to try to at least get back to the weight I was when we first started dating. That means I need to lose about...70ish pounds? Well, I'd like to atleast lose 50.  And please don't think that he has said anything about my weight. I know he loves me anyway. But I still want to do this because I feel like it shows respect as to how I present myself to him.

I have also become very lazy in regards to housekeeping. I did pretty well in that department when we had our own place, but when we moved in with my mom her house was already a disaster and after a while I just gave up. It has never felt like MY home, even though my first husband and I lived here and my parents moved here after we moved into another home. It's just an old cluttered house and it depresses me, to be honest. I think a lot of that has to do with the memories of my first marriage here. There's a certain amount of grief I feel from those memories. Add to that my mom's negative, super critical manner and I just feel stuck in molasses when it comes to housework. My health issues don't help. But I feel like I have received a wake up call to get my act together. A man should feel good to come home. I can't fix everything but I can at least keep the clean laundry put away and the clutter under control. So I am going to work hard on that.

So those are my goals. I am so happy to be this close to marrying my soulmate. After two failed marriages I need this one to work. I have little reason to believe it won't, but I just want to make Douglas as happy as he has made me. Forever.