The Darkness

Biologically, I know what's happening. For whatever reason seasonal changes (and especially around time changes) my bipolar symptoms go beserk. I know it happens, but I don't know how to stop it. Just knowing that it will pass is not enough to make the pain of it any less. I also know that major shifts in life make my symptoms worse. Case in point, my mom's heart attack. So before I panic and think my meds aren't working anymore it's best that I consider the changing weather, the health change in a loved one, and now, the news of yet another mass shooting in Texas. I can get through this like I always do. It's just so hard to breathe through the muck of it right now.  I have a child to take care of so I can't allow myself to have a complete crash. I HAVE to keep my neck above water. I wish I could just sleep until things get better. I'm not so good at faking wellness.