That last post was stupid. I'm sorry. I debated deleting it, but then I thought: why should I hide how I really feel? Isn't that what stigma feeds off of? Whatever the case, I am still as depressed as I was when I wrote it, but not quite as suicidal now. I didn't go into grave detail but I did open up to my fiance tonight about what I'm going through, and despite my fears that he would be mad or exasperated, he was very comforting. That really helped a lot. I am going to try to get some sleep soon, which is what I have been craving all day. But I have had really bad insomnia the past few nights despite being so exhausted all day, so that doesn't really promise anything. Sigh. Life goes on. Until it doesn't.
4 comments:
Amy,
I've been reading your blog. The girl I remember from high school was kind and good natured and quiet. I think you're very brave to bare your thoughts online. I know we've not seen each other in sixteen years and we've only interacted a few times on Facebook. I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through. But as a friend, I wish you a long and full life. As a person, I admire you and what you do with your blog. It is beautifully written and captures the heart of what you are going through. I wish you a Merry Christmas (though I agree with your thoughts on this from a few posts ago) and pray you keep on striving at life. Life can be hard sometimes, but it's worth living.
Your friend,
Jonathan
Thank you, Jonathan. Merry Christmas to you as well.
I'm glad you shared your thoughts. I've done that a few times and was told it helped a couple of others because they felt like they weren't the only ones feeling that way. I hope you are feeling better today.
I have been forcing myself to pry a little out of my shell today. Not great, but better than I was. I will take that.
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