The Weightless Days

Among the highs and lows of bipolar disorder, there are the weightless days, where you float on the fact that you don't know how you feel. There is no certain feeling, no crushing weight, no pumping high. And yet there is a lifelessness to these days. For all the passion of the ups and downs, these days are clouded with cotton, heavy and empty all at once, and not so unlike depression. You don't know whether you are coming up for air or sinking to the bottom. So you wait. For an emotion. For the wind of change. For hope or for doubt. You wait for the uncertainty to pass so you know what the next door opens to; whether there is a lion on the other side or a lamb.