I met with my new therapist today and I like her. Like I've often said, each new person brings a fresh perspective and a new strategy to the old battleground. We just have to open ourselves up to trust them and to face the fear of them abandoning us, which is very difficult!
I told M today "You're my sixth therapist in seven years."
She smiled. "You have a lot to compare me to."
"No, I'm just afraid you will leave like the rest of them do."
And of course she couldn't answer to that, because no one knows what the future holds. Starting over, and starting over again, and again, and again...it seems to be an inevitable trend when it comes to mental health care. Sometimes the turnover works for our benefit; sometimes it doesn't. Always, it's a nuisance, and it produces a realm of grief to share so much of yourself with someone and then never see them again. I had canceled what was to be my first appointment last week, and had intended to do so today as well. But my gut told me to go, so a lot of pep talk, anxiety and a Klonopin later I made that apprehensive journey to the unknown. And I survived it. That within itself is therapy.
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