Georgia Sliders

It's been a dreary day here in Northeast Georgia, and I had a hankering for something reminiscent of island food. You know, something to take me away, something that tastes a little better than Calgon. With little on hand besides a package of frozen precooked shrimp and some hoagie buns, I was feeling a little shipwrecked before the boat took off. But then I came up with these Georgia Sliders, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Ingredients:

1-2 lb shrimp, cooked and chopped
1 large onion, finely chopped
2 celery stalks, finely chopped
1/2 green pepper, finely chopped
2 TB minced garlic
1/2 jalapeno, finely chopped
1 15oz. can black beans, mashed
2 TB butter or olive oil
2 eggs
1/2 cup wholewheat breadcrumbs
1/2 cup panko
1/2 cup lowfat mayo or fat free plain yogurt
salt, pepper, and Old Bay seasoning to taste
olive oil for frying
cheese of your choice, sliced to fit patty (I suggest Pepper Jack for that extra kick)
rolls or hoagie buns cut in half

Directions:

1.)  Combine cooked shrimp, onion, celery, peppers, and garlic in your favorite food processor and let it do the fine chopping for you.
2.)  Melt 2 TB of butter or olive oil in pan and saute shrimp, vegetables and garlic until vegetables are tender. While cooking, add salt, pepper, and Old Bay seasoning to your liking. Set aside to cool.
3.)  In a separate bowl, beat 2 eggs and mix with 1/2 cup of mayo/yogurt. Add the shrimp mixture, breadcrumbs, and mashed beans. Mixed together to form a firm yet workable consistency. By hand, roll into patties and bread with panko.
4.) Heat oil over medium heat and fry patties 2-3 minutes on each side or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels.
5.) lightly spread butter or oil on insides of bread and toast until lightly brown. Assemble with shrimp patty and cheese and place back in oven until heated through and cheese is melted.

Stack with your favorite garnishes: lettuce, tomato, pickles, tartar sauce, cocktail sauce, pico de gallo, coleslaw, fried onions, or whatever else floats your boat :) 

Bipolar Disorder in Children and Adolescents

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder characterized by episodes of mania and depression. These episodes are associated with unusual shifts in mood and energy. Early onset bipolar disorder, which starts during childhood or during the teen years, may be more severe than forms that first appear in older teens and adults. Some evidence suggests that young people with the illness may have more frequent mood switches, be sick more often, and have more mixed episodes (both manic and depressive symptoms).

Yesterday

• Few experts believed that bipolar disorder could occur in childhood.
• Depression and bipolar disorder weren’t considered brain illnesses, and distinct treatments for each illness did not exist.
• Researchers could not distinguish between severe irritability and bipolar disorder in children, which would make it possible to develop more effective treatments for each.

Today

• A large, nationally representative survey shows that at least half of all cases of bipolar disorder start before age 25.
• Some medications have been approved for treating bipolar disorder in children and teens, and psychotherapies, such as family focused therapy, also appear to be effective in helping children to manage their symptoms.
• Children with bipolar disorder can have co-occurring disorders, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety disorders, or other mental disorders, in addition to bipolar disorder. Scientists and doctors now know that, while having co-occurring disorders can hinder treatment response, treating bipolar disorder can have positive effects on treatment outcomes and recovery from co-occurring disorders as well. Studies focusing on conditions that frequently co-occur and how they affect one another may lead to more targeted screening tools and interventions.
• Imaging studies are beginning to reveal brain activity patterns and connections associated with specific traits associated with children who have bipolar disorder, such as mood instability and difficulty interpreting social or emotional cues.
• Genetic research reveals genetic similarities among bipolar disorder, depression, and schizophrenia. Such studies point to possible common pathways that give rise to these disorders but also highlight limitations in focusing on specific diagnoses in research. This issue has spurred a new NIMH initiative—the Research Domain Criteria (RDoC) project—to make sense of research findings that don’t fit neatly into current diagnostic categories.

Tomorrow

• Though there is currently no way to prevent bipolar disorder, NIMH is studying how to limit or delay the first symptoms in children with a family history of the illness.
• Research on novel treatment delivery approaches, such as telemedicine (providing services over satellite, Internet, or other remote connections) and collaborative or team-based care in medical care settings will improve the quality of mental health care, particularly for special populations, such as minorities and people in rural communities.
• Due to concerns that many children are being mistakenly diagnosed with bipolar disorder, many researchers are working to refine the diagnostic criteria. For example, one subset of children whose primary symptom is chronic, severe irritability may instead be better described as having a syndrome called severe mood dysregulation, while another group of children with rapidly changing moods and high energy may not have bipolar disorder at all, despite showing symptoms commonly associated with it.

Resources:

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

Rebalancing the Moments

I am disdainfully aware that I have acted rather bitchy to everyone around me today...actually, for about a week or so...or longer. Not to make excuses, but well, I DO have a few dang good ones:

1.) Hormonal wacked-outness (yes, that is a medical term...kind of) derived from 8 weeks of pregnancy and then a miscarriage

2.) That whole week of abruptly stopping my medication because I thought I had a viable pregnancy going on. Anyone who has quit their meds cold turkey knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I have just now been back on them for three days, and while things are improving, I suppose they have not reached the bitch-b-gone potency that my family is hoping-begging!-for

3.) I'm still upset about the miscarriage. Even though it was not a planned pregnancy, we would have been very happy to be parents again. Logically, I know this is for the best. I probably would not be mentally stable enough to handle another young one-it's hard enough dealing with one toddler!-and financially, it would be more strain than we really need in our lives. But tell that to yourself when you see all the healthy newborns on Facebook; all the many MANY "We're Pregnant!" announcements that just seem to be popping up on every corner of the social network. I am so thankful and blessed for the three children that I have. That is three more than many women will ever have. I shouldn't be selfish and pout about something that I really didn't need to happen right now. I guess it's just that damn biological clock always reminding me I am getting older and women in my family go through menopause earlier than natural, and gosh darn it I have the best little names picked out for more children that I still want to use...sigh, hormones!

4.) I feel guilt. Guilt that goes beyond the wanting another child when I know I shouldn't. This guilt comes from the wondering. If you have ever had a miscarriage, you know that guilt trip you take yourself on. You decide that this and this and that and that is what caused the miscarriage. For me, I am convinced that it was the psychiatric medication I was on, namely Paxil, that has been known to cause birth defects during the early stages of pregnancy. Obviously, if we had been trying to have another baby, I would have weaned myself off of all my medications months before , just as I did with my last child. But I didn't know. And throughout the chaos of our recent move and everything, my method of birth control failed me (or maybe I failed it, who knows). My theory is that the meds probably caused some chromosomal abnormalities that were not compatible with a healthy baby and the pregnancy terminated itself. And as my always-blame-myself-for-everything train of thought goes, it is my fault that this sweet little baby did not come to be.

5.) I'm just simply overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with all the life changes that have been coming about lately, about all the things out of my control, and about all the things that are within my control that I can't seem to get an adequate handle on. I need a time-out, but who has time for that? For a few days we were having this awesome deal around here, prescribed my therapist, for me to have a full hour to myself each day to do whatever the hell I wanted with no outside responsibilities. And it was fabulous! My fiance gladly took our son off my hands and I was free to do whatever-read, write, sleep, clean (I almost always chose to clean) and he even kept him a little over the one hour slot a few times. It was H E A V E N ! ! ! I love my son to bits, but it helped me so much to have a little time to reconnect to who I am outside of being a mother. My whole life is wrapped around this role, and I gladly perform that role, but I am better at that role when I can catch a freakin' break here and there! So yeah, the hours of heaven were helping. My whole focus for the day was improving. I was able to read Curious George twelve times in a row with more gusto and less yawns, sighs, tears of anguish. I was "getting there". Back to the point of knowing my role and loving it too. And then I just randomly decided to take a pregnancy test because my period was three weeks late, and things kind of changed from there. No one's had time for the leisure hour. My therapist nagged me about that last week, but unless she wants to personally come watch my son for an hour each day it's just not going to happen. My fiance is behind on school work and has been sleeping poorly. It's not his place to have to babysit my identity problems when it costs him his own sanity. He may disagree, but that is my stance on it, and I refuse to make him my doormat. I'm not THAT much of a bitch! He does still help out with our son a ton more than I would venture to guess most dads do, so I have no reason to complain.

Trust me, this is not a moan-and-groan post. It is not a list of reasons why I have bitch rights, nothing of the sort. It's a post to say "hey look, I'm human. I run a blog and a Facebook page to help inspire other women (and men, and whoever else tunes in) to keep going when the road gets bumpy and to realize your worth as an individual, limitations and all, and to do the best you can despite your symptoms, circumstances, etc. But I am human. And some days I may not sound as encouraging; some days I may sound pretty damn cynical, but regardless I am still here to care about others, to do what I can where I am. Sometimes that little bit doesn't seem like much, especially when I go months without writing a new article (SHAME!) or I'm not as quick to answer emails as I more often tend to be. I don't consider myself a leader of any sort. I am not an expert on mental illness. I am not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV (and god that was so cheesy I'm going to gag). But I do know a lot about the ups and downs that we all face; bipolar or not, this world is a bitterly mammoth pill to swallow a good portion of the time. But there are a lot of sweetnesses to be found along the way as well. Sometimes the pillow feels just right under your head as you doze off to sleep. Sometimes you don't burn dinner. Sometimes you can take a deep inhale outside and smell every memory from your whole life that's given you a reason to believe that life is worth living.

People like to tell me when I am having a bad day that there is always tomorrow. I'm a realist (NOT a pessimist!) and know that not even one of us is promised a tomorrow, or even five minutes from now. What we have is this moment, and we have a whole train of junk behind us. But I promise you, if you take the moment by moment approach-not in the way of thinking there's no point in doing anything because it may not get finished-but in the way of taking a step forward each moment, a mountain hike with the clock, if you will, then at the end of the day you will see that you had a whole bunch of moments you made matter during those ticks and tocks, and maybe you will rest easier knowing that you did all you reasonably could-no more, no less.

Yeah, today I've been bitchy. I was made aware of it, noted it in my mental notebook, and made a point to turn the bitch dial down a few notches. I apologized to my family, and ate something (I had forgotten to eat and hadn't had any caffeine-more valid excuses!), and I feel a little more mellow now. Truth be told, the Klonopin probably helped too (I had forgotten a couple of doses of that too...ah, so many excuses). Whatever the case, I have a few more moments to spend today and I plan on making them count for more than the previous part of the day did.


Original post regarding pregnancy:

Life will always, always throw curve balls.

Scratch that. Life IS a curve ball.

After fretting with all these "bipolar" symptoms-the rage, the meltdowns, the excessive moodiness...after the doctor changed my medications and I felt I was on the right track again...

I found out this morning that I am pregnant.

Yes. I know what causes that ;)  Certain precautions aren't so bullet-proof.

Needless to say, none of the three medications I am on are safe for pregnancy, so I am to not take them anymore and hope for the best.

Most likely, my OB will place me back on a low dose of Zoloft. That worked well enough with my last two pregnancies and it is considered a safer alternative to other options. I'm pretty bummed, considering how well the Paxil was helping with social anxiety. Even today, I felt at easy in a semi-crowded Walmart. That hasn't occurred in F O R E V E R!

I am more than a little OH MY GOD FREAKING OUT, A FOURTH CHILD, WHAT THE HELL, AM I REALLY THAT CRAZY about things.

But all in all, as the shock has been chiseled down throughout the day, and the fretting has exhausted itself, I am able to say that-despite the unexpected twist of fate-I am happy. My partner is happy. My daughters are happy. My toddler son doesn’t know what he’s in for in a few months  but he’s just dancing around being a toddler for now. I love my family. If I had the money and wits I would have ten kids. As it is, this will probably be the last (a certain procedure will likely ensue the birth of this one). Mood wise, who knows what I’m in for. But here I am. Pregnant.

Writer's Constipation

 

 

I think I have writer's constipation. I know, that's a very gross way to explain it, but I've been wanting to get some writing done SO MUCH lately and it's been one thing after another keeping me from it, and then when I have a free moment ...(and I use the term "moment" to describe about a half second duration where inspiration meets an actual blank tick of the clock before some other chaotic responsibility drops in and says "fooled ya!") I try OH SO HARD to get something out-a sentence, a word, a vowel-but then it's just...stuck. All those ideas, those beautiful lines of pure poetic justice that came to me while I was cooking supper or playing peek-a-boo with my son or scrubbing the toilet: stuck. It's like all of those ideas have sat in there and gotten hard and rocky and unmoveable. I'm creatively constipated. And it feels as if I am about to burst if I don't find some form of relief. So that is why I am writing this rather disgusting analogy about writer's constipation.

...and now excuse me while I go change my son's diaper. I guess this exercise helped HIM :D

Floating

My first day on Tegretol: no terrible side effects experienced as of yet. A little drowsy, but my doctor and pharmacist both warned me previously that potentially excessive sleepiness was to be expected but  that it would probably subside after a few doses. I'm feeling hopeful, but still a little apprehensive. Ever since I was diagnosed back in 2006 I have never believed in a perfect fix for this illness. Pills provide safety nets. Therapy provides fighting techniques. But the battle will always, always be in session. I have lost count of how many times a particular cocktail has worked wonderfully for me and then gradually, or even suddenly, stopped being right for me. It just happens. I've learned not to be pessimistic about it or say that there's no point in trying. I've learned not to be blind and convince myself when I'm feeling good that I will always feel good. And as hard as it is to do at times, I try to remind myself-and anyone else who is hurting-that the darkest times will not always last either. You know, the mysteries of the universe and why we are all alive and what the meaning of it is and what will happen after life is all bewildering enough without having a mental illness. So when you do have a brain that processes thoughts, emotions, etc. in a different manner than the average person, I believe it makes you more sensitive to these questions of life and death. In some it creates more fear; in others it creates more certainty, and in others it creates all kinds of gobbly gook and fantasy and truth and dream resin than a single soul can contain. Right now I'm floating through distilled passions, absorbing all the shocks and banter that a confused mind encounters. Soon, perhaps, I will see more clearly. My ideas will be courser, my feelings sounder. Where I am now and where I will be, and hell, where I have been, all tumble around me at this moment, and I am parallel to them all, attached and unattached; a part of and a splinter off from them. And in this mindboggling fog, I feel at peace. It's a peace I have not felt in a while. Perhaps not ever. And after it passes I may never feel it again. But I'll take this awesome moment for what it’s worth, and keep floating on until I reach the shore.

The Pain/ Depression Cycle: Is Your Pain Caused by Depression or Vice Versa?

By: Ryan Lawrence


Over the decades, medical professionals have begun to recognize that depression can have a significant physical impact on our bodies. Studies have shown that depressed people are more prone to suffering from physical ailments, such as heart problems and osteoporosis. That said, above all else, depression appears to be tightly linked to physical pain.

A Complex Relationship

Researchers know that pain and depression have a real but confusing relationship. Physicians often struggle to identify the source of certain physical ailments when they are combined with depression. Like the chicken and the egg, it's not always clear what is causing what. When depressed patients visit the doctor, they often complain of vague, insistent symptoms, such as abdominal pain, headaches, or musculoskeletal pain in the neck, joints and lower back.

This often leads physicians to test for all sorts of ailments before finally attributing the problem to depression. Many times, antidepressants and cognitive therapy help to resolve symptoms of vague, chronic pain. On the other hand, just as often, this treatment strategy proves ineffective, because it's actually focusing on a symptom rather than the source problem, itself.

When Pain Causes Depression

  Years ago, health professionals believed that people who suffered from both pain and depression experienced the former, because they were somehow denying an emotional disorder. Now, more and more experts believe that it's actually pain that makes people depressed in the first place.

According to Dr. Donna Blair, who treats people suffering from temporomandibular disorder, many of her patients have experienced improved mood once they received treatment for the source of their chronic pain.

"I see people whose teeth are worn down to a fraction of the length of what they used to be from years of grinding," she said. "They've been in pain for years, but didn't know that a problem in their jaw joint could have been the cause; and they're amazed at the increase in quality of life that they get when their teeth are restored and their bite is corrected."

An Endless Cycle

  Unfortunately, chronic pain and depression can promote one another. This is especially true when one or the other promotes sleeping difficulties. According to Blair, research has shown that insufficient sleep can promote both pain and depression, leading to a seemingly endless cycle that can send people into a downward spiral.

"Sleep is so critical to our well-being, and when we don't get enough of it, our bodies suffer," she said. "When you add pain to the mix, people have trouble sleeping and it sets a vicious cycle in motion. Depression is just part of what frequently happens in this cycle, but it's one of the signs and symptoms that people are more aware of. Things like increased risk of heart attack and stroke usually go unnoticed until it's too late."

Getting Help

Chronic pain has been proven to keep depressed people depressed, while robbing them of their ability to function in professional and social arenas. That said, when patients receive treatment, they tend to show significant improvement.

When seeking help, patients would be well-advised to seek counsel from physicians who are open to all potential causes, instead of those who are focused on purely physical or psychological catalysts.

Citations:

• Journal of American Medical Association depression study

Featured images:

•  License: Creative Commons image source 

Ryan Lawrence writes for Off-Topic Media. Thanks to Dr. Blair for contributing to this story. Dr. Blair treats migranes and other TMJ symptoms at her office in Fresno, California.

My family and I are in the process of moving and we only have a month to do it in, so forgive me if I seem a little scarce around here. I will be back full force as soon as we are settled in ;)

The Power of Words

Here are some phrases you never hear:

"I'm AIDS."

"I'm Lupus."

"I'm a bone fracture."

So why are there phrases like this?

"I'm bipolar."

"I'm schizophrenic."

"I'm crazy."

It may not seem like a big deal to everyone. The emphasis on certain words is interpreted in varying measures by each person, and the difference of being and having something may not even register to some. But. It does to me. I have a real pet peeve about phrases like "I'm bipolar". We hear it said like that everywhere. In movies. In the news. In conversations. It's even used to describe people who do not even have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. If a person is in a bad mood or emotional, they are automatically penned "bipolar". Is this acceptable to you?

This is why I have a problem with it:

"I'm bipolar" suggests that your whole body is wrapped up in this word; it becomes the definition of everything about you. It owns you. You are a slave to society's views about your mental illness, and you're seemingly complacent about it. Stigma feeds off of you.

"I have bipolar disorder" tells a different story, and a more accurate one. You are an individual with many traits and characteristics. You may have a distinct birth mark, a knack for mathematics, a perfectly aligned set of teeth. Among all your visual and perceived traits, you have an illness-a flaw in your chemistry-and it affects you in certain ways. It can appear to take over your whole being at times and muddle the regular attributes of your personality. But you have it. It does not have you.  This particular aspect of your life can be treated, subdued, survived. It does not own you. Just like a broken bone, a part of you may be wounded, but you as a whole are not a broken person.

Remember this in your self-talk and when you are describing your illness to others. It will make a difference in how you perceive yourself, and it just might portray a more realistic image of mental illness to those around you. Words have a certain power to them, and you can choose to use uplifting ones or degrading ones. The words you choose will impact your entire view of life. Choose words that reflect your true self, and never let your illness define you.

Decisions, Decisions

It's amazing how freeing making a decision can be. I like dealing in absolutes. When everything is up in the air, when the winds can turn it this way or that, then my whole body feels the upheaval, and it resides in my brain and my bones, sucking out the will in me, until the issue is resolved. I am happy to say that my family and I have come to a decision about a situation that has been weighing heavily on each of us for a few weeks. Now, there's a lot of hard work ahead, and I will have to keep check on my mental health throughout it, but just knowing the next steps on the path has greatly diminished the stress and depression I have been experiencing as of late. There will always be uncertainties and bends in the road, but at least we have a plan in place now. What a relief!

I hope you all have a terrific weekend!