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Tuesday, July 26, 2022

    "I ought not to doubt the steadiness of your affection, yet such is the inconsistency of real love, that it is always awake to suspicion, however unreasonable; always requiring new assurances from the object of its interest, and thus it is, that I always feel revived, as by a new conviction, when your words tell me I am dear to you; and, wanting these, I relapse into doubt, and too often into despondency."
Ann Radcliffe, The Mysteries of Udolpho

Depression has found me, and it's making me feel very insecure and unlovable. I keep telling myself it's just the depression, these feelings aren't grounded in fact, but I still have this huge fear of losing the love of the people I care about, namely my husband and my children. I already have one daughter that refuses to acknowledge my existence, and that hirts me more than I let on to anyone. If one person I love so much can stop loving me in return, who's to say another won't, and another?  

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